Twelve Things You Don't Know About Men

1. We pee in the shower, usually and often. The drain, however, must be in perfect working order, because, if not, it grosses us out too.
2. We notice good looking guys. Not a gay thing (if you're straight). Just an envy thing.
3. We're obsessed with our hair. Gotta keep it as long as possible. Or shave it.
4. We would like, just once, for someone to buy us flowers on Valentine's Day.
5. Some of us sit down to pee. Ten years ago I thought it was an abomination. Now it just takes a load off. Much cleaner. Time to think.
6. It bothers us that hair starts growing out of every orifice around the age of forty; mostly the ears, on the tip of the nose,the nostrils and the back. Once you start tweezing and pulling and cutting, you're trapped. It's true. It grows back bigger, blacker and more.
7. We are more vain then women.
8. The only reason women think we hold our looks longer (you do don't you?) is because we don't, as a rule, wear make-up. We're always like this, not so much contrast. Not that there's a big contrast when you take your make-up off. Oh, never mind!
9. Size does matter.
10. Men, as a rule, are expert spitters, horkers and gobbers. We can get the most up, aim it the best, and never hit anyone else with our backwash. That is, if you're a real man.
11. 85% of all men cannot piss if they haven't started yet when another guy walks up to the urinal next to them, nor can they if they are the one walking up next to another guy at a urinal. Pee anxiety. The open troughs at stadiums are the worst.
12. We have fantasy's just like you, we just act on them more.